Theme is like flying in a dream

For the past month I have continued to make progress on my film, but recently have found myself come to a halt. So I dug through a book a good friend of mine suggested prior to making this film by Tristine Rainer entitled Your Life As Story. This book is more for autobiographical writing, but relates in many ways to making personal documentaries. During the read through, I found a very interesting excerpt I'd like to share that may help me (and others) along the way.

You, too, may find a time where you hit a memory website where the options are overwhelming, and you will slow to a halt. That is the time to retrace your steps to figure out your theme from what you have set down. Once you've discovered your thematic string, you can stretch it forward as a guideline for completing your work.

This inspired start and stop sudden pattern is like that of a recurrent flying dream I had as a child. I knew how to soar as long as I didn't think about how I was flying. Arms outstretched , feet kicking occasionally as when swimming, I swept over roads and trees, over swimming pools and lawn furniture, out over open fields of rye grass. I was exhilerated and confident; none of the wolves and demons that haunted my nightmares could get me up there. Then--why couldn't I learn?--I made the very mistake I had tried to remember not to repeat. I began to wonder, how could I be flying? I tried to study my own technique so I wouldn't crash, but by becoming self conscious, I forfeited my buoyancy. My body lowered toward the ground like a balloon losing air until in despair I felt wet grass on my feet. Over charged with the adrenaline of panic, I froze, as a wolf, mouth slavering as in a cartoon, charged out of the bushes. I had to force my little girl legs to move, until I could get them to run, run for my life, though I could not leave the ground.

As the wolf gained on me, I consciously replayed in my mind how it was I had been able to fly. I would analyze my technique again, even though it was that mistake that had grounded me in the first place. And mystery of mysteries, I would remember! The very intellectual effort that had lost me my flight in the first place was the only way I could retrieve it.

Writing from inspiration is like dream flying; in the midst of it, it seems nothing can ever ground you. This is the transcendence that lures and addicts one to writing. Woe to those who stop in the rush of inspiration to think about why the writing is working...On the other hand, it is when you find yourself grounded, when you have lost your way and doubt yourself, that it is valuable to go back to search for the intellectual construct of theme in your work.

Ok so before I get a cease and desist letter from Penguin Putnam Inc. I will stop there. But if you think about this except, you can replace writing with editing or filmmaking, and apply this to every film being made.

Rainer also suggests that theme is not just one single element, but it is the conflict between two underlying concepts or values that propel a work forward. So I listed a few statements of theme my film has that conflict with each other that may help me get out of this hole I am in.

1. My family doesn't seem to believe that Gordon and Blair have an issue or issues that have caused their relationship to suffer.
vs.
My struggle to actually show that something is interfering with their relationship, and try to bridge that gap.

2. The fear of making a film that doesn't live up to the hype it is developing
vs.
The possible success, and personal satisfaction it could have if the film is actually made.

3. The fear of disappointing Gordon by exposing certain characteristics he may posses.
vs.
Allowing Blair to finally be understood.

I think #1 seems to be the theme that has been with me since the inception of this film. #2 and #3 are just as strong, and maybe each one will be a subtheme in the film.

I have also posted a personal best in: Longest Blog Entry. Thanks for reading!

Available on Amazon.com
You Life As Story
Tristine Rainer